Dead Weight

I woke up this morning quite late as I've been up late last night reading for my exam. As I prepared myself some breakfast, my aunt (sister of dad) came up to me and said I should pay my grandfather's sister a visit. A distant aunt had mentioned to her over the phone that my grandmother had complained of headache the night before and that the caregiver had a hard time lifting her to the toilet. Those problems aren't really new so I wasn't really that worried, but I knew I should pay her a visit as I hadn't done so in a very long time. And she lives just two blocks anyway.

So as I spread garlic butter on my toast that morning, I just nodded at my aunt. That was supposed to be the end of our conversation. But she kept going, "This might be dead weight!"

"Huh? Dead what?" I said

"Dead weight! Dead weight!" She was frantic.

"What are you talking about?" I was really irritated at that point. I knew she was talking about another one of her magical or mystical beliefs again. You see, my aunt is a spinster, a former nun and has a schizotypal personality. Yes, the type who believes in mysterious spirits and demons lurking in dark places to prey on children. She claims to have performed some exorcisms. She claims to be well-versed on the doctrines of the Church yet her beliefs are compatible only with those from the time of the Inquisition.

"You don't know about dead weight?" Yes, she was now questioning my medical education.

"What are you talking about? It's the first time I've heard that term used on a person." In my head, I kept thinking of this empty container on a weighing scale. An internet search later revealed that dead weight and empty weight are not synonymous.

"It is when a person is about to die, she cannot be lifted from her deathbed by any number of able-bodied persons. One of your distant uncles...that happened to him before he was pronounced dead. It is a sign of impending death."

Three seconds of silence followed. I did not know whether to laugh, or cry in pity for my poor aunt who keeps clinging to her otherworldly beliefs. She has her own dictionary in her head, apparently. And it would be of no use to bring her to a Psychiatrist. She believes that they are rogue people pretending to know how to exorcise demons.

I paid my grandmother a visit and it turned out she just had a neck muscle strain and mild constipation. I instructed the caregiver and asked them to update me about her progress.

But I really don't know what to do with my aunt. For the past 20 years, she has refused to work because she believes she will one day unearth tons of gold, or just wake up with billions deposited in a yet to be opened bank account. Mind you, she used to be a very successful personnel manager. But something must have happened when she started attending all those charismatic seminars. She is dead under the weight of her own beliefs.